Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em

OK, so officially Stella, our dog, is probably the strangest dog on face of this planet.  Let me tell you about the sequence of events that led to this realization.

Stella has hated Salma for a while.  When she was a puppy, Salma used to tease Stella and do weird things like pull her tail and we were all like, "Salma!  She's a puppy!  Stop doing weird things like that."  But Salma kept on doing strange things and saying things like, "Stupid dog," and you know...things that would make Child Protective Services take Stella away if Stella was a child.  So, Stella hates Salma.  At night, when we are all sitting downstairs watching television, and Stella's ghashang ghashang sitting on the couch, sleeping, minding her own business, THE MOMENT Salma comes downstairs, Stella gets super nervous and jumps off the couch.  If Salma even gets near Stella, Stell starts to growl.  And when Stella growls, it's super scary because she shows us her fangs and she just gets really ugly.

So, we all used to tease Salma about how much Stella hates her, and Salma was getting sort of upset and started to be a little bit nicer to Stella, only it was too late, because Stella loathes Salma already.  And I used to think, "HAH, I win!"

But it's not like that anymore.  As nice as I am to Stella, and really, I'm not just saying that.  I give her SO much love, and I spoil her, and pet her.  Seriously, among the women in this house, I'm really the only one that ever sits down to pet stella.  I say "among the women," because in his defense, Monsieur René is the only person who actually takes care of Stella.  You know, he feeds her and walks her and stuff.  Man, we are GREAT pet owners....oops.

So anyway, Stella has started to growl at me too!  At first, I thought it was just PMS.  I thought, "ok, it's going to be like this for a couple of days, but it will pass.  Just stay nice and stay out of her way."  But then when it didn't go away, I started to get upset.  I mean, all I want to do is pet her, but whenever I get close to her, she starts doing that wolf-like thing and showing me her fangs.  I'm like, "ok, ok, I'm outta here, just don't bite me."

But then I realized, well DUH, of course Stella would turn out like this, she's living in THIS household, isn't she?  I mean, poor Monsieur René was destined to live among the three most volatile women on the face of this planet.  We are relentless.  He never really gets a break, does he?  Because when one of us isn't PMS-ing, the other two are.  And we don't really liked to be touched very much, we like to be left alone.  Poor Monsieur René (and mom, I say this out of love) but sometimes at night, when my mom is lying on the couch watching tv, he comes up to her and tries to hug her or something, and she pulls a straight-up Stella and growls at him.  Well, you know, in the most homosapien sort of way.

Salma just walked into my room, and said, "I'm not volatile, I'm the nicest."  Psshhhhh, bi-atch please.

There you go, Stella has just learned from the best.  So when she growls at us and doesn't let us pet her, we shouldn't get upset, we should just think, "WWWD?"  or "What would we do?"  And that should answer our question.  Because we would do the exact same thing if we were peacefully minding our own business and someone came all up in our grillz.

Go PMS.