Question

Why?  

the big friendly giant, midnight

  I feel uninspired.  DAD I want my camera back.  Its midnight thirty.  The witching hour.  Remember the witching hour?  In the BFG?
We used to stay up until midnight when we were young and call it the witching hour.  We used to think it was so late.  MIDNIGHT?  What a feat, we stayed up that late.
Now it happens nightly.

People might say its not about the money, but its always about the money.

Find your Ninja Name (thanks avishan)

I steal things from Avishan's blog.  But she should take it as a compliment because it is SO COOL!

http://itsmavisbacon.tumblr.com

My Ninja name is Shikatotoka

hahaha.  What's yours?  

Women and World Religion

Last semester I only took ECON classes and one IT class and I thought it was the worst mistake ever.  I was like, next semester, I'm mixing it up a little.  So today, after three ECON classes, I entered my "Women and World Religion" class.  I was excited, but a little nervous.  It's funny because I was always nervous when I walked into my ECON classes, because before, I didnt know that many people or the professors and I didn't feel up to talking that much, but in all of my ECON classes today I saw familiar faces, and it was just a relaxed environment.  We talked about our winter vacations, our finals last semester,  how we felt about the teachers etc etc.
In the religion class, everyone knew each other except for me.  When we went around and introduced ourselves EVERYONE was a Religious Studies major, and then there was me.
"Hello.  I'm Ranna Saeedi.  I study Economics and French.  I'm a senior."
"Why are you taking this class Ranna?"
"Well.  You see.  I needed a little break from Economics this semester.  I thought this would be an interesting class."
"Have you ever taken a religion class before?"
"No, but I've read a lot about Islam."
"Have you ever taken a women's studies course?"
"Nope.  But I love Simone de Beauvoir."
The class laughed .

The teacher came up to me when everyone was working in groups and told me to prepare to work hard. I looked at her and told her I could handle it.
We talked about patriarchy.  We talked about feminism and gender equality.  Equality in general.  I....I'm not used to talking about these things in my ECON classes without hearing smirks around the room.  there were things that people said, and I could feel my blood starting to rise, I could feel myself beginning to get defensive about certain issues.  What was it?  Oh, some girl started to talk about feminism and was saying just the...things I don't agree with.
Each time I wanted to say something, I was shut down by this voice telling me not to talk, because clearly these religious studies majors, these womens studies majors know more than I do; it is, in any case, what they study.
But at one point, I couldn't keep my mouth shut and I started to talk.  And then, it got easier.  And then I was like, ok this is good.  I can do this.  I can be in this room.  I can be a part of this.
I'm really looking forward to the rest of the semester and this class.

goodnight

Quotation of the day

"In the midst of an abstract discussion it is vexing to hear a man say: "You think thus and so because you are a woman," but I know that my only defense is to reply, "I think thus and so because it is true," thereby removing my subjective self from the argument.  It would be out of the question to reply: " And you think the contrary because you are a man," for it is understood that the fact of being a man is no peculiarity.  A man is in the right in being a man; it is the woman who is in the wrong...  Woman has ovaries, a uterus; these particularities imprison her in her subjectivity, circumscribe her within the limits of her own nature.  It is often said that she thinks with her glands.  Man superbly ignores the fact that his anatomy also includes glands, such as the testicles, and that they secrete hormones.  He thinks of his body as a direct and normal connection with the world, which he believes he apprehends objectively, whereas he regards the body of woman as a hindrance, a prison, weighted down by everything peculiar to it."

Simone de Beauvoir, philosopher

Pop goes the weasel

I usually don't like talking about weight because it's a touchy subject for me, but I've decided to write about it because I'm starting a new regimen and maybe if I write about it and I'm more open about it, it will keep me motivated to continue.

I don't really remember when it started to become an issue for me, but for as long as we've lived in DC at least, I've struggled with my weight.  For a long while after we moved here, I was a regular at the gym, but then...then I stopped.  And it's been a roller coaster ride ever since then.  I've been on every single diet you can imagine (sometimes I make them up, sometimes I read about them, whatever it is, I've done it), and I've tried to keep up with a work out, but it's just SUCH a difficult thing for me to do.  I'm always like, "Ranna, this is it.  This time, youre going to keep it, you're going to keep going.  This is it.  This time is the real deal."  And then what happens?  Well.  Usually, one day I'm confronted with some chips and maast and I collapse, which starts the downward spiral.  I keep saying, OK today I'll eat this, and then tomorrow I'm back on my diet.  And then it happens again, until I finally give up.

The thing is, I DONT KNOW WHY THIS HAPPENS!!!!!  When you think about it, it's just FOOD.  And really, it SHOULD be the easiest thing to control.  You eat when you're hungry.  You don't eat when you're not.  You know what's healthy.  You know what's not healthy.
When you're on a diet, you have a set of rules.  Why is it so hard to follow these rules?  Why do the rules taunt you?  How come when you say, NO CHIPS AND MAAST, you can't just follow it?

I don't want to fall victim to this again.  I really dont.  I think this time is different from the last because I'm 100% committed to this.  I'm just sick and tired of feeling humongo.  Really.  In Colorado, I was lying on the bed one day, and I just felt like, "OH MY GOD, IM GOING TO EXPLODE.  I'VE TURNED INTO A BALLOON AND I'M GOING TO POP AT ANY SECOND."  So I started yelling at my mom and I said, "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST HELP ME?????  WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT TO EAT, HOW TO EAT, WHEN TO EAT?"
And she said, "OK, if you want me to, I will."
And I yelled, "OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO.  CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'VE TURNED INTO THE MICHELIN TIRE BOY??"
And she was all, "But you have to listen to me."
And I screamed, "WHATEVER, JUST GET IT OFFFFFFFFFFFFF"

So ok.  Since I've been back, my mom and I have been on a ZERO CARB diet.  And it's funny, because Salma is a vegetarian, and I think my mom was like, ok what can I make that goes well with both of these things.  So she started to make a lot of lentils.  BUT THEN I STARTED GOOZING LIKE NO OTHER.
So now she makes, actually, pretty good food.  Always some sort of meat, and a bunch of vegetables.  Ok, I admit, for breakfast, I still eat granola.  But only a handful.  With low fat vanilla yogurt and fruit.  It's just my favorite.  I always eat that for breakfast.  Anyway, who wants to eat eggs and bacon and ham for breakfast?  I don't.
So yeah, breakfast is that.
Then meat and vegetables.  A lot of fruit.  We can have string cheese for snacks.  Macadamia nuts are pretty good to munch on.  Veggies, when you feel like it.  Green tea.  Green tea.  Green tea.  Water.  Water.  Water.
And THEN, to top it all off.  I've been waiting for school to start, because I hate driving to George Mason when I don't have classes, but, I'm going to start working out at the gym again.  I've had this podcast, FOREVER, that basically trains you to run a 5k in 9 weeks.  I'm going to start doing that.  I really want to learn how to run.  I used to always do track and field when I was younger and I'd really like to get back into it.
Besides that, I like the elliptical a lot.  It's my favorite.
Also, if anyone is interested in going to the GMU gym with me, anytime, I need help learning how to do all the weights machine.  So...I'm just putting that out there.

This is a sort of contract, this blog, that I've written, and there is NO WAY IM GOING TO BREACH THIS BABY.  I'm in it to win it this time.  Watch me noooowwwwwwwwww.

If you guys have any tips, let me know, I'm open to suggestions :)

Ranna Saeedi
18 January 2009

The Land of Buffalo and 14ers: PICTURES

The Land of Buffalo and 14ers

So I got my computer back yesterday (thanks Reza!) equipped with all sorts of cool things.  I'm really excited.  BUT, now that a week has passed since our trip to Colorado I feel sort of strange writing a blog post about it.  But, I guess I will since there was mucho I wanted to share.

SO COLORADO.  Salma and I grew up there, I lived there until I was 16 years old and that's when I moved to DC.  I thought it was the nightmare of my life unfolding when my mom told me that we were moving.  I thought I would never be happy again, and I spent the first 6 months of living here listening to Death Cab for Cutie on repeat, wearing brown corduroys, and cutting my bangs so they would cover my eyes (this equaled EMO for me.  Note--I still do all three things these days but I skip the label).  I was disheartened by everything that was northern Virginia.  I would go to school and I would get FREAKED out by the number of students who were NOT white.  And the worst thing for me was, I couldn't break into the "white" crowd at school, because I was just another Iranian, why did I want to be their friend anyway?

It was tough.  Slowly but surely, I began to find friends here and there, I started to appreciate living here more, and the tables began to turn.

Since then, I visited Colorado a couple of times, and each time, I felt that I was pulled farther and farther away from what my life had previously been.  This time, though, my connection with Colorado was virtually obsolete, and as much as I tried, I couldn't muster up enough energy to appreciate it.

It started I think while we were waiting in line at the airport to check in.  I looked over to my side and saw this young guy, probably my age, dressed in full-on military garb, standing there looking solemn.  I was pulled into a flashback of living in Colorado during the first deployment of American soldiers to Afghanistan.  The air was tense because so many of Colorado Springs citizens had military ties.  All over the city there were banners reading, "SUPPORT OUR TROOPS."  Restaurants, movie theaters, stores, they all gave military discounts.  I remember many of my classmates feeling bittersweet about their fathers and mothers leaving.  Sad because they had no idea what the future held for their parents, would they return and in what state?  Proud because they had a parent serving the United States Army.  They were pure patriots, they were, they held upmost dedication to the United States of America.

I always held my tongue at school when issues of the war would come up.  Already I had been labeled as "the other" when it came to issues of CITIZENSHIP.  Engar na engar I was born in the United States and I had been at school with these people since preschool.  No, during that period, it was always, "Ranna, aren't you from eyyyee-rack?"  No actually I'm not.  But that's where it ended.  These days, I don't really understand why I didn't try to educate my peers.  I think it was sort of as a means to fit in.  I didn't want to separate myself more from them by explaining that I was Iranian, and that Iran was here on the map, Iraq was here, Afghanistan was there, and that Guatemala and Greece shouldn't be confused, and couldn't by any means be used interchangeably.

So where was I, oh yeah, the airport.  So I started to think about all of these things while we were still in Dulles Airport.  And I found myself feeling a little queasy as I asked my mom, "Uhhh Mom?  Why are we going to Colorado again?  Who made this decision?  Do I have to go?"  I desperately wanted to stay back.  That wasn't happening.

When we got to Colorado, it didn't get any easier.  Life is different there.  Slower, more relaxed.  People take their time.  They say "hi" to each other in the street.  They drive slowly, no honking.  They wait in line for longer periods of time.

Coming from the east coast, things we are definitely not familiar with.  Living in DC for the last several years, I was not used to the relaxed nature of the sales clerks.  The way they talk to everyone, why do they want to know everyone's life story?  Pu-leese.  Ring me up, let me go.  KThanksBYE!

OK, so there I was after a couple days, sitting in our condo in Colorado and wondering once again why I couldn't just enjoy all of these things about Colorado instead of being so damn critical.  I wonder, if I had never lived here, if I didn't have the basis for comparison, would I appreciate being here more?  Would I appreciate the beauty of the mountains without thinking of the homogenous culture?  Would I be able to walk into a store, wait in line for a ridiculous amount of time and think, "How very quaint!  The culture of small-town life!  Sigghhhh.  Couldn't we all just sit back and smell the flowers every once in a while?"

Maybe.

But the issue of lack of diversity really gets to me.  I can't live in Colorado anymore because of this, I think.  I am comforted now by the fact that there are so many different kinds of people here, that there is an acceptance and a yearning to be educated about all the different ethnicities.  That I don't have to hide my Iranian lifestyle from my American one, that I can join them.

I have the perfect anecdote for this.

Since we've moved to Virginia, not ONE person has mispronounced my name.  So amazing.  I was completely 100% surprised when at school my first year at Marshall High School, all the teachers perfectly said, "Ranna" sans pause or difficulty.  It was such a breath of fresh air.  BECAUSE:

In Colorado, EVERYONE mispronounced my name.  It was always just known that OK first day of school, pause before they said a name, THAT name was my name.

But I had forgotten about this detail UNTIL

We went to get my Colorado Card (it's a card that's connected to a credit card and can be used as a lift ticket and also to buy food and merchandise) and the guy had my name in the system already and he called me "Reena."  REENA?!?!?  UUUH, excuse me, mister, but do you see any "E's" in my name?  No, I don't think so.  Reena??  Please.  So I corrected him and said, "Actually its RANNA."  BUT THEN, he said my name again, and called me Reena... AGAIN!!!  At that point I was like, ok whatever, Reena it is.  If you want.

Then, when I was telling Bryan, my stepbrother, about this, I asked, "is it because they don't take the time to look at my name, or QUOI?!?!"

We came to the conclusion that maybe its that.

But probably its because names there range from Katie-to Laura-to Madison.  Ranna is just ranging into the realm of the unknown.  And Saeedi?  Sheesh, that name taunts people into call Homeland Security.

"Well hey there missus, sayyyyyyy, wasn't Saeedi the name of one of those fellars there that crashed the planes?  One of those men there working for Obama?"

"Obama?  Obama?  Ohhhhh you mean Osama bin-Laden."

Laughs, "Osama, Obama, always get confused about those two."

Righhhhhhhhhhhhhhtttttt.

Man, I'm really being bad.  Lets not forget that Colorado was a blue state during the last elections.  Finally.  It's about time.

But, my bitterness is unfolding from all of the stereotypical racial slurs I received from my peers after September 11th up until we moved.  So, I have a right to throw it in their faces.

I want to write about Dani and Genevieve too, but I think they deserve their own blog post.  One that is not dripping with cynical sneers.

Tomorrow.

why am i obsessed with heather armstrong's kids?

This one is pretty good too:
http://vimeo.com/6214247

Bob, Bob, like Bob Dylan

So, I'm obsessed with this video, and I've watched it about 18374 times, but it still doesn't get old.  When Salma and I were stuck in the airport (that blog is coming soon, I PROMISE, I just have to get my computer back) I recited it from beginning to the end.  And then I was like, "holy crap, why have I memorized this?"  And I sort of started to get scared that I was turning into Salma. 

You guys know what I mean, right?  Salma knows lines from every single movie she's ever watched and recites them on the daily. 
Some of her favorites:

"Nanny where you goinnnngggg?  Nanny don't leavee meeeeeeeeeee!"  (Nanny Diaries)
"Dad, I met a man in Rome and he's brilliant and wonderful and we're getting marrrriiieedddd" (Father of the Bride 1)
"It's a bold wine with a hint of sophistication and lacking in pretention...actually, I was just describing myself."  (French Kiss) (Aaaccctually, Salma knows all the lines to "French Kiss," and I wont write them all out..last night apparently they were watching the movie (it's our favorite, you know?) and Salma changed it after she realized that she was reciting every single line, verbatim.)
"Eyyy Blanca!"  (Weeds)
"You're WILD...WILD!!!"  (Dirty Dancing)
"Nicolas Flamel?  Who is Nicolas Flamel?   I dunnoo"  (Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone)
"Marvas?  MARVASSS"  (Parent Trap)
"Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories...we've already missed the spring."  ("An Affair to Remember" but recited in Sleepless in Seattle)
"Chaarrliiieee you making me nerrvoussss" (It Could Happen To You)

Ok, that's enough for now.  Mostly because I can't concentrate because I'm at work and my mom and grandma are talking.  And I'd like to listen to what they're saying. 

OH, so here's the video, by the way.  Watch it, it's the cutest. 

http://vimeo.com/8264773

UPDATE COMING SOON

For those of you curious to know, I will be updating my blog as soon as I head over to George Washington University to pick up my laptop from the ever-so-nice, Reza Rad, who was working to download all sorts of things onto it while we were in Colorado. 

Pictures and details about our trip will be arriving soon. 

Until then.