these boots were made for fallin'

I've taken to not checking what the weather is going to be like and dressing for all sorts of occasions. Sometimes, it doesn't work out.  Like when I wear a sweater and Uggs and it's warm out so I spend the entire day sweating.  Or like the other day when I just put on a tshirt and a light jacket and it was like the COLDEST DAY OF THE YEAR.
I don't check the weather because I find that they never seem to calculate correctly and we end up experiencing completely different weather than was originally forecasted.  So, I just like to make very clear assertions.  For instance, when it's raining, I go, "It's raining."  Or when it's snowing I'll say, "It's snowing."
The only time I will EVER forecast the weather is when the sky is red at night.  Red sky=snow.  It's a fact.

So today, I was like, "I'm going to look like a human being and actually wear suitable clothing."  This included my favorite pair of brown boots.  My Paris boots.  The boots I refuse to ever give away.  I'm just waiting for something to happen to them so that I can take them to a shoe repairman and say, "FIX THEM NOW!!!!"

But there's a problem with these boots.  Yes there is.  They have absolutely NO traction.  None whatsoever.  So the moment it gets a little wet or something, I slip and slide alllll over the place.  In Paris, I fell like 347 times while wearing them.  For instance, on Thanksgiving last year, I fell down and I couldn't leave my house because my knee was so swollen.  That is not something to be thankful for (dont end sentences with prepositions).

Today, of course, was no exception.  Of course.  Just my luck, right?  I put on the shoes, left the house and everything was fine.

And then God said, "LET IT SNOW."  And snow it did.

I had to go to class right when it was starting, and the entire time, all I could think was, "Oh man, oh man.  I'm going to go outside, fall, hurt my butt, and THEN what am I going to do?"  I was just sitting and waiting for the moment of doom to arrive.

When class was finally over, the sun had gone down, and it was sort of really snowing.  I started to make my way to the car, but I decided to be very strategic about the way I was doing things.
I realized that if I put the heel of my shoe down before the rest, then it would lower my chances of falling, and if i distributed my weight, so that I was leaning forward a little bit that would also lower my chances.

So there I was, inching my way to my car, heel, toe, heel toe, heel toe, lean forward, lean forward, ok take it easy, just a little bit more.  I was SO concentrated.

Then all of a sudden this girl from my class catches up to me.  Now this gal, I don't know her name or anything about her, but she seems REALLY cool.  She's someone who I want to become friends with, but like, we sit on opposite ends of the room, but she always says really funny things during class.  We've only talked a couple times.   Her celebrity lookalike would be the girl from Twilight.  The main one.
She catches up to me and goes, "Hey are you alright?"
And I'm all, "Yeah, I just don't want to fall."
And she's like, "I got you.  is that why you're walking like that?"
So I start laughing and explain to her about the heel-toe thing and also the weight distribution.
And she looks at me for a second and goes, "You have fun with that..."  and like, quickens her speed.

So I was there, left alone, walking strangely, hoping not to fall, and feeling like a complete loser.  At least I didn't fall?  Right?  Is that what you're thinking?  Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing.  At least I didn't fall.

I'm counting on a snow day for real tomorrow, though.  I mean, that awkwardness should have at least granted me a snow day, fo real.

Namaste.