No Wedding Necessary

My cousin Sara is getting married in about a month, and those people who talk to me on a regular basis know that this wedding is become the stress factor of my life.  Why? 

1. The Dress--Formal dresses and I don't get along.  It's not like I have something against dresses.  Not at all.  In fact, on a hot summers day, I love slipping on a dress and lounging around peacefully.  It's when we get into the "Evening Dress" category when I start to feel a little nauseous.  I hate the dress designs, I hate that they have sequins and bows, I hate that they're all made with uncomfortable fabrics, and I HATE HATE HATE that you have to try on a million dresses before you find the right one.  I like to go into a store, find something I like, buy it, and walk out.  The trying on thing, and me, we don't really get along.  

2. The Guest List--I like family get togethers, I do.  I enjoy seeing them and hanging out.  But it's when those secondary people get invited, where I get really uncomfortable.  For instance, my grandma has this friend (who shall remain nameless) whose prerogative is to make me feel bad about my hair.  It's her goal in life.  Each time she sees me she goes (in farsi of course) "Ranna, you're hair looks so much better than the last time I saw you!  But you know, if you just straightened it, you could get the frizz out, and it wouldn't be so big!"  Yes, I AM AWARE!  I have lived with this hair for the majority of my life (if you would like to know the entire history of Ranna's hair, just ask my mom, it's her favorite story to tell).  I don't need to have (insert name here) tell me that my hair would be less curly/frizzy/big if it was straight.  But I have curly hair, so sue me.  So I don't like these random people I only see here and there but have to converse with like I actually like them. 

3. The Wedding CONCEPT--I don't want to get married.  I think that marriage is unnecessary.  But I know, that there are those people who need that extra affirmation in their lives of knowing that a slip of paper binds them legally to their spouse and that they receive special privileges because of it.  I get it.  It's the wedding I don't understand.  

Now, I don't want to seem hypocritical, so let me state that growing up, the wedding seemed like the most awesome thing in the world.  Ava and I would spend hours upon hours planning our weddings, writing our guest lists, designing our dresses.  It was like our favorite pastime.  But, for a few years now, I've grown less and less starstruck by the concept.  It's just such a waste of money that could be used to, go travel, buy furniture, go travel, buy dishes.  I'm saying, take the money you would spend on the wedding and take an amazing honeymoon instead.  OR, furnish your house with all kinds of cool furniture and buy cool plates from Crate and Barrel or Williams and Sonoma. 

Spending SO much money for one night, on things like a $1000 dress, or a party hall, or..or hair and makeup (which, in my opinion, you can TOTALLY do yourself), it's so frivolous and unnecessary.  Ke chi besheh?  Really?  So what?  What happens after you have this wedding?  It's very egotistic, if you ask me.  Parading around in a white dress (which half the time shouldn't even be white…if you know what I'm saying…mhhhmmmmmm), so that everyone will know that you have achieved the "ultimate goal" in life, "yay, congrats, you're married."

IM NOT A CYNIC OF LOVE.  I love love.  I'm the biggest romantic EVER.  I know that some people will read this and go, "but Ranna, a wedding is a celebration of love!" And to them I say, "WHY DOES EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER HAVE TO BE INVOLVED IN YOUR CELEBRATION??!!  Why not have a party with your closest friends and tell everyone, "We're in love people, and it's the best thing in the world!  And we just want to share this amazing feeling with you guys 'cause we love you too and there's just so much love here and love love love love love!"" (how the hell do I punctuate that last sentence?)

I know the wedding has nothing to do with me.  And I'm not trying to make this about myself.  But I can't help to think about these things when I think about the upcoming nuptials, and the thoughts start to roll, and then I have to remind myself that it's what they want to do, and that I should be happy for them.  And I am.  I'm really happy for them.  And I wish them all the best.  But I would wish them all the best, anyway, even without the wedding.  Even if they wanted to just live together and make beautiful babies.  I would still give them all my love and support.

PS--the picture is by this awesome photographer, Max Wagner, who specializes in weddings and portraitures.  Take a look at his website, here