Pop goes the weasel

I usually don't like talking about weight because it's a touchy subject for me, but I've decided to write about it because I'm starting a new regimen and maybe if I write about it and I'm more open about it, it will keep me motivated to continue.

I don't really remember when it started to become an issue for me, but for as long as we've lived in DC at least, I've struggled with my weight.  For a long while after we moved here, I was a regular at the gym, but then...then I stopped.  And it's been a roller coaster ride ever since then.  I've been on every single diet you can imagine (sometimes I make them up, sometimes I read about them, whatever it is, I've done it), and I've tried to keep up with a work out, but it's just SUCH a difficult thing for me to do.  I'm always like, "Ranna, this is it.  This time, youre going to keep it, you're going to keep going.  This is it.  This time is the real deal."  And then what happens?  Well.  Usually, one day I'm confronted with some chips and maast and I collapse, which starts the downward spiral.  I keep saying, OK today I'll eat this, and then tomorrow I'm back on my diet.  And then it happens again, until I finally give up.

The thing is, I DONT KNOW WHY THIS HAPPENS!!!!!  When you think about it, it's just FOOD.  And really, it SHOULD be the easiest thing to control.  You eat when you're hungry.  You don't eat when you're not.  You know what's healthy.  You know what's not healthy.
When you're on a diet, you have a set of rules.  Why is it so hard to follow these rules?  Why do the rules taunt you?  How come when you say, NO CHIPS AND MAAST, you can't just follow it?

I don't want to fall victim to this again.  I really dont.  I think this time is different from the last because I'm 100% committed to this.  I'm just sick and tired of feeling humongo.  Really.  In Colorado, I was lying on the bed one day, and I just felt like, "OH MY GOD, IM GOING TO EXPLODE.  I'VE TURNED INTO A BALLOON AND I'M GOING TO POP AT ANY SECOND."  So I started yelling at my mom and I said, "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST HELP ME?????  WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT TO EAT, HOW TO EAT, WHEN TO EAT?"
And she said, "OK, if you want me to, I will."
And I yelled, "OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO.  CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'VE TURNED INTO THE MICHELIN TIRE BOY??"
And she was all, "But you have to listen to me."
And I screamed, "WHATEVER, JUST GET IT OFFFFFFFFFFFFF"

So ok.  Since I've been back, my mom and I have been on a ZERO CARB diet.  And it's funny, because Salma is a vegetarian, and I think my mom was like, ok what can I make that goes well with both of these things.  So she started to make a lot of lentils.  BUT THEN I STARTED GOOZING LIKE NO OTHER.
So now she makes, actually, pretty good food.  Always some sort of meat, and a bunch of vegetables.  Ok, I admit, for breakfast, I still eat granola.  But only a handful.  With low fat vanilla yogurt and fruit.  It's just my favorite.  I always eat that for breakfast.  Anyway, who wants to eat eggs and bacon and ham for breakfast?  I don't.
So yeah, breakfast is that.
Then meat and vegetables.  A lot of fruit.  We can have string cheese for snacks.  Macadamia nuts are pretty good to munch on.  Veggies, when you feel like it.  Green tea.  Green tea.  Green tea.  Water.  Water.  Water.
And THEN, to top it all off.  I've been waiting for school to start, because I hate driving to George Mason when I don't have classes, but, I'm going to start working out at the gym again.  I've had this podcast, FOREVER, that basically trains you to run a 5k in 9 weeks.  I'm going to start doing that.  I really want to learn how to run.  I used to always do track and field when I was younger and I'd really like to get back into it.
Besides that, I like the elliptical a lot.  It's my favorite.
Also, if anyone is interested in going to the GMU gym with me, anytime, I need help learning how to do all the weights machine.  So...I'm just putting that out there.

This is a sort of contract, this blog, that I've written, and there is NO WAY IM GOING TO BREACH THIS BABY.  I'm in it to win it this time.  Watch me noooowwwwwwwwww.

If you guys have any tips, let me know, I'm open to suggestions :)

Ranna Saeedi
18 January 2009