20 April, 2010

funfetti cupcakes?

I've been in this really really really weird mood today.  Like sort of in a bad mood, but I wouldn't really define it as bad, more like, searching for comfort but not being able to find it so stuck in this uncomfortable "WHAT SHOULD I DO" limbo land.
It started this morning when my mom randomly decided to use our bathroom at 6:45 in the morning.  WHY MOTHER?  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?  I woke up to the sound of my bathroom door closing and wasn't able to go back to sleep.  At 8:30 I got out of bed and realized that all I wanted to do was make pancakes.  Not to eat them or anything.  Just to make them.
So I made pancakes.  They were ok.  

Then I went to school.  Then at school I didn't want to be at school.  I was like, bajshdjakhsfkfsdkf this is stupid I don't want to sit around for my stupid religion class where we DONT EVEN DO ANYTHING.  Seriously.  All I really wanted to do was go outside and pick flowers and dry them. 

Yesterday, I went over to my grandparents house, and my grandmother and I talked about art projects I could do with dried flowers.  And since then all I really want to do is dry flowers.  So.  I was like, why am I sitting here in agony? 

So I left school, then I decided to go look for POM ice tea because I've been craving it for a few days.  So I went to Giant.  Then I realized that I really wanted to make cupcakes.  So I bought some Funfetti cake mix and I came home and I made cupcakes.  

Then Salma came home and asked me why I was acting so weird.  I was like, "uhhh why am I acting weird?"  And she was like, "It's so uncharacteristic of you to bake."

And I realized that it really is.  She's the baker.  But, I dont know.  I guess what I liked about baking is that I followed a set of instructions and I finished them.  Easy come easy go.  I didn't have to think for a little bit.  

What's wrong with me right now?  I feel like.  I feel like everything I want to do right now is impossible.  And I'm just tired of having to wait. 


1 comment:

  1. That's the thing that sucks about living such restricted lives- we're always waiting. But the funny thing is, that we're restricting ourselves which things that have been deemed as "necessary" such as school and work and whatever. I know exactly what you mean about waiting Ran, cause I feel exactly the same way.

    ReplyDelete