green monster

if there is one emotion i could just throw out the door it would be jealousy.  i think its the worst.  i think its worse than any deep dark feeling i ever feel.  it creeps up out of no where and there is absolutely no way to control it once it shows up.  i just have to deal with and try to rationalize, which really, never works because the jealousy seems to like, fern gully its way right into my head.  

what am i talking about?

well.  in fact, its about paris (duh, you're thinking, of course this would be about paris.  what ISNT about paris these days?).  its pretty bad actually because the moment i hear that someone will be visiting, or someone is studying there, has moved there, lives there, loves there, i feel this immense pang of green envy toward that individual.  all i want to do is scream, "but IM supposed to be there.  but paris is MY town.  but I LOVE IT.  You can't love it, you can't have it.  It's mine and mine only." 

and while i clearly understand paris isnt mine to have, and i know that im being utterly ridiculous it always comes back up.  to the point where i dont even want paris to be mentioned to me anymore...unless its about me going there, in which case, lets talk about it all you want :)